Help! My Marriage is Falling Apart!

Okay- my marriage is not falling apart. In a fact, it is going pretty darn well right now.  But that wasn't always the case.  In fact, I was not a very good wife for a long time.  No, I didn't drink excessively or cheat.  But I participated in the new Cold War going on in our country- the War on Men.

Before I give you insight into to battle at hand, I should probably clarify why I am even speaking on the topic.  Most people expect me to rant about lying politicians (which there are plenty) or the blasted MEA (of which I am a forced member).  Nothing better than a good political throw down to get my heart pumping.

However, while not busy causing blood pressure increases in liberals everywhere, I have been teaching and training in the area of communication for 15-years.  More important than my teaching and training, I have spent a lot of time reading and trying to implement the strategies on love and leadership in my own life.  Trust me, it is much easier to teach this stuff than try to do it yourself. I have met many people who can give a good lecture on leadership and communication, but fail miserable at modeling the most basic aspects.  Who knows, there are probably folks out there who could say the same thing about me. But I am learning and always trying to get better- and that is the key.


So back to the War on Men.

Before we begin, take a peek at these clips from the popular show Everybody Loves Raymond:




Gone are the days where respected dads like Mr. Ingalls or Mr. Brady handed out wisdom to their children instead of sarcasm. And wives no longer look up to their husbands with adoring eyes; instead they openly criticize them to the delight of onlookers. These days the average dad is portrayed in the media as being stupid, incompetent and your basic caveman.

It is true that men tend to be much more simple than women.  I have heard it said that men basically need four things from their wives: sex, an occasional sandwich, to know they are important, and to watch their favorite show in quiet. Women are waaay more complicated that that, trust me!

According to the book Wild at Heart, men also need to know they are capable.  That is the burning question in the heart of every man, at every age. "Am I capable?"  The clip above is an all too common illustration of how men are being treated in our society today.  With every sitcom and commercial they watch they are told, "No!".

And as much as we women want men to love us, we are lightening quick to criticize them in public. This is the single worst thing you can do to your marriage, outside of physical violence and cheating.

Maybe you don't believe there is a war going on- at least not one on men. Maybe you think that women are still discriminated against and we are just claiming our "Girl Power".   Statistics don't lie.  Divorce rates are over 50%.  Marriages that do stay together are struggling as men lash out against their wives with cutting words, destroying the "Girl Power" women have worked so hard to find.

Do this for me- pay attention to the shows you are watching and the commercials.  See how men are portrayed.  Think about what would happen if women were portrayed the same way.  I bet there would be riots in the streets.

While we are looking to Washington for answers to how to save our country, much of the work must begin in our own lives and families.  If we don't end this War on Men, our country and our children will continue to reap the consequences.