Don't you love disaster movies? I do! The thrill of danger and adrenaline from watching the heroes escape certain death. Whether they are facing aliens, accelerated climate change due to our carbon footprint, or other unlikely foes, the result is spectacular on the big screen.
One of my new favorites is Super 8. Here is the trailer:
This movie was fantastic! And like most disaster movies, it continues to remind me of some key life lessons.
1. The government can't save you. Find one movie where the government actually pulls it together and manages to save folks. Oh, they save some people; but I will get to that later.
Often what happens is that the government rounds everyone up and puts them in an enclosed place, perfect for whatever foe, natural disaster or alien, is coming for them. Usually the emergency broadcast system kicks just like it is suppose to, allowing the President to let everyone know they are on their own and that the government is "doing all they can".
2. The government may not try to save everyone. There is usually a plan including some sort of ship or cave to save some, but not all. Most of us are left to find higher ground or a place to hide on our own. This isn't meant to be some sort of conspiracy theory generator. I am just pointing out my observations as a disaster movie junkie. Check out this trailer from Deep Impact
3. When the crud hits the fan, it all comes down to family. Disaster movies are great not because of the government chosen survivors, but because of the heroes and heroines who choose to fight back and survive. Usually that fight takes place standing beside their families.
In fact, if you are in a disaster movie and hold on to some petty gudge or wrongdoing, prepare to be squished, drowned or blown away.
This scene from War of the Worlds was one of the most heart wrenching in the movie. It set up another tension in the movie because the family was suppose to stay together and it seemed they would never find their way back to each other.
Families matter.
4, Lastly, self-reliance and preparedness are really important. I am not just talking about an emergency flashlight and some canned food in the basement. What all the heroes in disaster movies have shown is an ability to think critically and make good choices (for the most part). They didn't sit in their house and wait for the government to help them. They didn't wait around for instructions. They grabbed their family and fought.
While we won't likely face anything near what makes these disaster movies so great, we will face adversity. And when that adversity comes, we will have some decisions to make. Is the government going to save us? Are we going to just wait for further instructions?
Or are we going to say a prayer and then fight like heck? Are we going to cling to our guns, families and Bibles? I hope so, because that is exactly what we should do.
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Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Disposable Dads
My Dad, David, has always been a dreamer. He taught me about getting back up when you get knocked down. He has a great sense of humor and shows compassion. Some of the lessons he has taught me have been about what NOT to do, and those can be the most valuable of all.
My Step-Dad, Gene, is a model of hard work. He loved my mom through her darkest days. He is an amazing woodworker and gardener. He can fix anything and is always willing to help a friend.
Tom, my Father-in-Law is a sweet man who is quick with a smile. He has a gentle spirit and has taught me about being loyal and stable for your family. He loves flying airplanes and is teaching my boys to love it too. My kids adore him.
I sure miss my Grandpa, Harvey. He was one of my favorite people in the whole world. He always had a twinkle in his eye, even when I would debate him in politics. Back then I was a hippie, born a generation too late. He would always bait me and and as I rambled on and on, just smile knowingly. He seemed to think that paying taxes and getting a job would cure my crazy liberal ideas... oh, wait.
He has been gone a few years, but I still miss him. Throughout my crazy childhood he was one constant that I could count on. When I was about eight he asked my brother and I to make Christmas lists for our Grandpa. We must have spent hours on our lists. There were categories and subcategories of presents. Our motto was "no toy left behind". Of course, we were just trying to give him options. When my parents went to his house to pick up presents, they didn't realize they would be making several trips. He had bought us everything on our lists. He was generous even to a fault. I always knew I was loved unconditionally by my Grandpa, and I sure miss him.
And I have to say Happy Father's Day to my husband, Kevin. We love you!
I am sure you have your own stories about the men in your life. Hopefully you are able to find some good in the memories and lessons they taught you.
Unfortunately, too many people in America would have a hard time coming up with anything to say about their Fathers. It seems that Fathers have become somewhat optional in our mixed up society. The notion that Fathers are optional is a dangerous trend with significant consequences. Here are some startling statistics on the impact of fatherless from an article by Wayne Parker.
So what do we do about this? There are a few things that need to happen to turn this trend around. For starters, we have to tell the truth about divorce. Just because something is common doesn't mean it is normal or good. Divorce has become the easy out for couples not getting along. There are some situations when divorce is the right course of action, but it shouldn't be the first option.
Marriage has become a disposable idea, if people choose to get married at all. What has served as the bedrock of civilization, the nuclear family, has become "easy come, easy go". In a world of instant gratification, couples need to be reminded that it can take years, not weeks or month, to work out the kinks in a marriage.
Second, and this is going to really cheese liberals off, men in our culture are being told in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that they don't count. One of the most basic illustrations of this is the idea of fatherhood itself. As it stands, if a woman gets pregnant she has complete control over what happens next. Chicks march in the street celebrating this fact, apparently ignoring the consequences of their ideas. If she chooses to have the baby, the father is obligated to pay her money till the child is 18 (as he should). But the father has no say in the matter.
Now if she chooses to have an abortion, and kill his baby, he has no say in that either. Even if he is willing to raise the child on his own, he has no rights. Last year I read a sickening article in Mother Jones which said,
Husbands or boyfriends have been known to barge into his office and violently insist their baby not be aborted, to which Rashbaum replies with an equally violent, "F*%#! you, Charlie, we can abort her." He won't talk to them directly because, he explains, "I don't treat men."
Should men have a say over the life and death of their own child? I think so. If we are going to tell men they don't have a say over the life or death of their child, what message are well sending about overall fatherhood?
This is a complicated issue to be sure; but like most problems in life, if we don't tell the truth about the problem, we can't begin to fix it. While the solutions may be complex, one thing is simple and clear: kids need dads.
Happy Father's Day!
My Step-Dad, Gene, is a model of hard work. He loved my mom through her darkest days. He is an amazing woodworker and gardener. He can fix anything and is always willing to help a friend.
Tom, my Father-in-Law is a sweet man who is quick with a smile. He has a gentle spirit and has taught me about being loyal and stable for your family. He loves flying airplanes and is teaching my boys to love it too. My kids adore him.
I sure miss my Grandpa, Harvey. He was one of my favorite people in the whole world. He always had a twinkle in his eye, even when I would debate him in politics. Back then I was a hippie, born a generation too late. He would always bait me and and as I rambled on and on, just smile knowingly. He seemed to think that paying taxes and getting a job would cure my crazy liberal ideas... oh, wait.
He has been gone a few years, but I still miss him. Throughout my crazy childhood he was one constant that I could count on. When I was about eight he asked my brother and I to make Christmas lists for our Grandpa. We must have spent hours on our lists. There were categories and subcategories of presents. Our motto was "no toy left behind". Of course, we were just trying to give him options. When my parents went to his house to pick up presents, they didn't realize they would be making several trips. He had bought us everything on our lists. He was generous even to a fault. I always knew I was loved unconditionally by my Grandpa, and I sure miss him.
And I have to say Happy Father's Day to my husband, Kevin. We love you!
I am sure you have your own stories about the men in your life. Hopefully you are able to find some good in the memories and lessons they taught you.
Unfortunately, too many people in America would have a hard time coming up with anything to say about their Fathers. It seems that Fathers have become somewhat optional in our mixed up society. The notion that Fathers are optional is a dangerous trend with significant consequences. Here are some startling statistics on the impact of fatherless from an article by Wayne Parker.
Incarceration Rates. "Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families...those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant." (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration." Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.)
Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of the Census)
Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (United States Center for Disease Control)
High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56 (1991)
Juvenile Detention Rates. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
Confused Identities. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press, 1984).
Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed "greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households." (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, "Household Family Structure and Children's Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children," Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995).
Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990).
Delinquency. Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services, April 1994).
Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O'Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993
So what do we do about this? There are a few things that need to happen to turn this trend around. For starters, we have to tell the truth about divorce. Just because something is common doesn't mean it is normal or good. Divorce has become the easy out for couples not getting along. There are some situations when divorce is the right course of action, but it shouldn't be the first option.
Marriage has become a disposable idea, if people choose to get married at all. What has served as the bedrock of civilization, the nuclear family, has become "easy come, easy go". In a world of instant gratification, couples need to be reminded that it can take years, not weeks or month, to work out the kinks in a marriage.
Second, and this is going to really cheese liberals off, men in our culture are being told in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that they don't count. One of the most basic illustrations of this is the idea of fatherhood itself. As it stands, if a woman gets pregnant she has complete control over what happens next. Chicks march in the street celebrating this fact, apparently ignoring the consequences of their ideas. If she chooses to have the baby, the father is obligated to pay her money till the child is 18 (as he should). But the father has no say in the matter.
Now if she chooses to have an abortion, and kill his baby, he has no say in that either. Even if he is willing to raise the child on his own, he has no rights. Last year I read a sickening article in Mother Jones which said,
Husbands or boyfriends have been known to barge into his office and violently insist their baby not be aborted, to which Rashbaum replies with an equally violent, "F*%#! you, Charlie, we can abort her." He won't talk to them directly because, he explains, "I don't treat men."
Should men have a say over the life and death of their own child? I think so. If we are going to tell men they don't have a say over the life or death of their child, what message are well sending about overall fatherhood?
This is a complicated issue to be sure; but like most problems in life, if we don't tell the truth about the problem, we can't begin to fix it. While the solutions may be complex, one thing is simple and clear: kids need dads.
Happy Father's Day!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Help! My Marriage is Falling Apart!
Okay- my marriage is not falling apart. In a fact, it is going pretty darn well right now. But that wasn't always the case. In fact, I was not a very good wife for a long time. No, I didn't drink excessively or cheat. But I participated in the new Cold War going on in our country- the War on Men.
Before I give you insight into to battle at hand, I should probably clarify why I am even speaking on the topic. Most people expect me to rant about lying politicians (which there are plenty) or the blasted MEA (of which I am a forced member). Nothing better than a good political throw down to get my heart pumping.
However, while not busy causing blood pressure increases in liberals everywhere, I have been teaching and training in the area of communication for 15-years. More important than my teaching and training, I have spent a lot of time reading and trying to implement the strategies on love and leadership in my own life. Trust me, it is much easier to teach this stuff than try to do it yourself. I have met many people who can give a good lecture on leadership and communication, but fail miserable at modeling the most basic aspects. Who knows, there are probably folks out there who could say the same thing about me. But I am learning and always trying to get better- and that is the key.
So back to the War on Men.
Before we begin, take a peek at these clips from the popular show Everybody Loves Raymond:
Gone are the days where respected dads like Mr. Ingalls or Mr. Brady handed out wisdom to their children instead of sarcasm. And wives no longer look up to their husbands with adoring eyes; instead they openly criticize them to the delight of onlookers. These days the average dad is portrayed in the media as being stupid, incompetent and your basic caveman.
It is true that men tend to be much more simple than women. I have heard it said that men basically need four things from their wives: sex, an occasional sandwich, to know they are important, and to watch their favorite show in quiet. Women are waaay more complicated that that, trust me!
According to the book Wild at Heart, men also need to know they are capable. That is the burning question in the heart of every man, at every age. "Am I capable?" The clip above is an all too common illustration of how men are being treated in our society today. With every sitcom and commercial they watch they are told, "No!".
And as much as we women want men to love us, we are lightening quick to criticize them in public. This is the single worst thing you can do to your marriage, outside of physical violence and cheating.
Maybe you don't believe there is a war going on- at least not one on men. Maybe you think that women are still discriminated against and we are just claiming our "Girl Power". Statistics don't lie. Divorce rates are over 50%. Marriages that do stay together are struggling as men lash out against their wives with cutting words, destroying the "Girl Power" women have worked so hard to find.
Do this for me- pay attention to the shows you are watching and the commercials. See how men are portrayed. Think about what would happen if women were portrayed the same way. I bet there would be riots in the streets.
While we are looking to Washington for answers to how to save our country, much of the work must begin in our own lives and families. If we don't end this War on Men, our country and our children will continue to reap the consequences.
Before I give you insight into to battle at hand, I should probably clarify why I am even speaking on the topic. Most people expect me to rant about lying politicians (which there are plenty) or the blasted MEA (of which I am a forced member). Nothing better than a good political throw down to get my heart pumping.
However, while not busy causing blood pressure increases in liberals everywhere, I have been teaching and training in the area of communication for 15-years. More important than my teaching and training, I have spent a lot of time reading and trying to implement the strategies on love and leadership in my own life. Trust me, it is much easier to teach this stuff than try to do it yourself. I have met many people who can give a good lecture on leadership and communication, but fail miserable at modeling the most basic aspects. Who knows, there are probably folks out there who could say the same thing about me. But I am learning and always trying to get better- and that is the key.
So back to the War on Men.
Before we begin, take a peek at these clips from the popular show Everybody Loves Raymond:
Gone are the days where respected dads like Mr. Ingalls or Mr. Brady handed out wisdom to their children instead of sarcasm. And wives no longer look up to their husbands with adoring eyes; instead they openly criticize them to the delight of onlookers. These days the average dad is portrayed in the media as being stupid, incompetent and your basic caveman.
It is true that men tend to be much more simple than women. I have heard it said that men basically need four things from their wives: sex, an occasional sandwich, to know they are important, and to watch their favorite show in quiet. Women are waaay more complicated that that, trust me!
According to the book Wild at Heart, men also need to know they are capable. That is the burning question in the heart of every man, at every age. "Am I capable?" The clip above is an all too common illustration of how men are being treated in our society today. With every sitcom and commercial they watch they are told, "No!".
And as much as we women want men to love us, we are lightening quick to criticize them in public. This is the single worst thing you can do to your marriage, outside of physical violence and cheating.
Maybe you don't believe there is a war going on- at least not one on men. Maybe you think that women are still discriminated against and we are just claiming our "Girl Power". Statistics don't lie. Divorce rates are over 50%. Marriages that do stay together are struggling as men lash out against their wives with cutting words, destroying the "Girl Power" women have worked so hard to find.
Do this for me- pay attention to the shows you are watching and the commercials. See how men are portrayed. Think about what would happen if women were portrayed the same way. I bet there would be riots in the streets.
While we are looking to Washington for answers to how to save our country, much of the work must begin in our own lives and families. If we don't end this War on Men, our country and our children will continue to reap the consequences.
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